7th August 2012

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wish you could see what i see in you
wish i could heal your heart 
help you move on, if only you would open up more to me
then you could stop the clock for a second.
and see that right in front of you,
theres a girl. a simple girl but who would always be there for you
who would want to take care of you, hold your hand
and give you all her love.
but you dont see me. im invisible
and even if you did, would you even consider it?
i just want to make you happy. 
cause right now loving you secretly
is too much to handle, its killing me

wish you could see what i see in you

wish i could heal your heart 

help you move on, if only you would open up more to me

then you could stop the clock for a second.

and see that right in front of you,

theres a girl. a simple girl but who would always be there for you

who would want to take care of you, hold your hand

and give you all her love.

but you dont see me. im invisible

and even if you did, would you even consider it?

i just want to make you happy. 

cause right now loving you secretly

is too much to handle, its killing me

6th August 2012

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STUPID! BRAIN TUMOR
STUPID! THYROID CANCER
STUPID! HEART THAT WONT STOP LOVING YOU
STUPID! LONELINESS
STUPID! CHEMO
STUPID! YOU WHO WONT EVEN GIVE ME A CHANCE
STUPID! DOCTORS WHO ONLY GIVE ME BAD NEWS
STUPID! DIETS
WHEN IS LIFE GONNA STOP BEING SO STUPID! AND GIVE ME A BREAK?!

STUPID! BRAIN TUMOR

STUPID! THYROID CANCER

STUPID! HEART THAT WONT STOP LOVING YOU

STUPID! LONELINESS

STUPID! CHEMO

STUPID! YOU WHO WONT EVEN GIVE ME A CHANCE

STUPID! DOCTORS WHO ONLY GIVE ME BAD NEWS

STUPID! DIETS

WHEN IS LIFE GONNA STOP BEING SO STUPID! AND GIVE ME A BREAK?!

6th August 2012

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have you ever love someone
but knew they d idnt care?
have you ever felt like crying
but knew it would get you nowhere?
have you ever looked into their eyes
and said a little prayer inside your head?
have you ever looked into their heart
and wished that you were there?
have you ever felt their heartbeat
when the lights were turned down so low?
have you ever wanted to whisper i love you
but never let it show?
love is big, yet it hurts so much
the price to pay is always high
the risks may come worth it with time
but usually it doesnt pay a dime
so do not fall in love my friend
youll hurt before its through
i ought to know my friend
i fell in love with you
look at me now, dont know what i should do
have you ever felt so lost
feeling their lips so soft
and still keep doing it  when
you know you should turn the feelings off?

have you ever love someone

but knew they d idnt care?

have you ever felt like crying

but knew it would get you nowhere?

have you ever looked into their eyes

and said a little prayer inside your head?

have you ever looked into their heart

and wished that you were there?

have you ever felt their heartbeat

when the lights were turned down so low?

have you ever wanted to whisper i love you

but never let it show?

love is big, yet it hurts so much

the price to pay is always high

the risks may come worth it with time

but usually it doesnt pay a dime

so do not fall in love my friend

youll hurt before its through

i ought to know my friend

i fell in love with you

look at me now, dont know what i should do

have you ever felt so lost

feeling their lips so soft

and still keep doing it  when

you know you should turn the feelings off?

16th July 2012

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SOMETIMES WHAT COMES OUT OF OUR MOUTH ISNT REALLY WHAT WERE TRYING TO SAY…

Theres something i need to tell you
i want you
something you should know
i want you now
i really like you and..
i want to rip your clothes off
i would like to see more of you
i want you to pull my hair and growl in my ear
we could go out to a dinner or a movie..sometimes
then ill wrap my legs around you and moan, just moan
maybe, you know, um, if thats your thing
ill lick your neck, your chest, move further down down down
i dont know how you feel about movies, anyways, um
i want you to myself, feel your soft skin
im, umlooking forward to seeing you again
i want you on me, everywhere, all night long
i hope youre having a god day. hope everything is awesome and all..
i want to taste you, drink you, swallow every inch of you
see the thing is, um
i like you
theres something, a conenction..
i really do like you. i hope you like me too
um, nevermind. forget. forget i said anything..
DAMN

SOMETIMES WHAT COMES OUT OF OUR MOUTH ISNT REALLY WHAT WERE TRYING TO SAY…


Theres something i need to tell you

i want you

something you should know

i want you now

i really like you and..

i want to rip your clothes off

i would like to see more of you

i want you to pull my hair and growl in my ear

we could go out to a dinner or a movie..sometimes

then ill wrap my legs around you and moan, just moan

maybe, you know, um, if thats your thing

ill lick your neck, your chest, move further down down down

i dont know how you feel about movies, anyways, um

i want you to myself, feel your soft skin

im, umlooking forward to seeing you again

i want you on me, everywhere, all night long

i hope youre having a god day. hope everything is awesome and all..

i want to taste you, drink you, swallow every inch of you

see the thing is, um

i like you

theres something, a conenction..

i really do like you. i hope you like me too

um, nevermind. forget. forget i said anything..

DAMN

16th July 2012

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IF A GUY CALL YOU CUTE,
HES LOOKING AT YOUR FACE

IF A GUY CALLS YOU HOT,
HES LOOKING AT YOUR BODY

IF A GUY CALLS YOU BEAUTIFUL,
HES LOOKING AT YOUR HEART !

IF A GUY CALL YOU CUTE,

HES LOOKING AT YOUR FACE

IF A GUY CALLS YOU HOT,

HES LOOKING AT YOUR BODY

IF A GUY CALLS YOU BEAUTIFUL,

HES LOOKING AT YOUR HEART !

16th July 2012

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I doubt you will ever read this, youd think i was mad.
its just this feels so wrong. it shouldnt be
but i cant take it out of my mind. cant stop.
trying to create the opportunities again
its dangerous but i liek it.
whenever i think about you i get this feeling inside my stomach, it burns of desire
for a couple of weeks ive known you, though hardly know at all
we dont have long discussions, you hardly ever call
youre naturally quiet, i think a little shy
as far as i can tell you look like a nice guy
but when we get together im sold to youre smiles
you wrap your arms around me and it feels like ehaven for awhile
i love youre deep eyes, i love your skin and your soft hair
i love the silent, gentle secret pleasure that we share
i cant help myself, im completly obsess
by the tought of your body undressed
i swoon at your voice, when i see you i blush
what is it about you that gives me this crush
i dont even know if im special to you or even if i sometimes cross your mind.
theres just that spark in you that makes me want to show you the real me and get to know the real you.
no rush, theres all the time in the world.
you know when you meet someone new and the feeling that maybe something more could happen hits you?
i wish i could read me your mind, or just give me any sign
i know i sound crazy, but wait and see me . take the time to let me show you
that i can be perfect for you. i dont even know what are your toughts about me
but please tell me if you think we could ever be .

I doubt you will ever read this, youd think i was mad.

its just this feels so wrong. it shouldnt be

but i cant take it out of my mind. cant stop.

trying to create the opportunities again

its dangerous but i liek it.

whenever i think about you i get this feeling inside my stomach, it burns of desire

for a couple of weeks ive known you, though hardly know at all

we dont have long discussions, you hardly ever call

youre naturally quiet, i think a little shy

as far as i can tell you look like a nice guy

but when we get together im sold to youre smiles

you wrap your arms around me and it feels like ehaven for awhile

i love youre deep eyes, i love your skin and your soft hair

i love the silent, gentle secret pleasure that we share

i cant help myself, im completly obsess

by the tought of your body undressed

i swoon at your voice, when i see you i blush

what is it about you that gives me this crush

i dont even know if im special to you or even if i sometimes cross your mind.

theres just that spark in you that makes me want to show you the real me and get to know the real you.

no rush, theres all the time in the world.

you know when you meet someone new and the feeling that maybe something more could happen hits you?

i wish i could read me your mind, or just give me any sign

i know i sound crazy, but wait and see me . take the time to let me show you

that i can be perfect for you. i dont even know what are your toughts about me

but please tell me if you think we could ever be .

16th July 2012

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HOLD ME IN YOUR ARMS
TELL ME YOU WANT ME
KISS, CONSUME ME
POUR ESSENCE ON THE FIRE THAT BURNS INTO ME
LIGHT A MATCH.
SQUEEZE ME TIGHT AND LET OUR BODY
BURN, BURN BURN!

HOLD ME IN YOUR ARMS

TELL ME YOU WANT ME

KISS, CONSUME ME

POUR ESSENCE ON THE FIRE THAT BURNS INTO ME

LIGHT A MATCH.

SQUEEZE ME TIGHT AND LET OUR BODY

BURN, BURN BURN!

16th July 2012

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i love arts. all kind of arts. everything creative.i love music because the lyrics and the beat carry you away!
i love nature, its so fragile and pure
i love paintings and pictures because it tells you a story. a story you can feel with youre eyes without words.
i miss doing arts. i need more inspiration. at least i started writing again. i need to paint more abstract let the colors guide their way on an empty canvas with my feelings. 
i love writing because its like a hard puzzle trying to match feelings in to words that cannot be describe.
without arts, i feel like im in a cage, without arts im not me.

i love arts. all kind of arts. everything creative.i love music because the lyrics and the beat carry you away!

i love nature, its so fragile and pure

i love paintings and pictures because it tells you a story. a story you can feel with youre eyes without words.

i miss doing arts. i need more inspiration. at least i started writing again. i need to paint more abstract let the colors guide their way on an empty canvas with my feelings. 

i love writing because its like a hard puzzle trying to match feelings in to words that cannot be describe.

without arts, i feel like im in a cage, without arts im not me.

16th July 2012

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Somebody asked me today what would be my perfect mate. i had to think about it.
but here it goes.
i need a guy who is open minded. who is interested in life and learning about stuff in general. someone who has dreams and ambitions.  someone who has a stable life and job and would want to invest in our relationship. someone happy. someone who can be real with me and i can be real with.  i need someone who have good family values who likes to go out, party but also spend time with me and give each other space at the same time.  someone who likes learning. i love learning about everything.  someone who loves arts. any kind of arts.  art is everywhere. could be plastic arts, music, i love music. i need it to go through everything in my life good or bad. but arts can be in really simple things. i sometimes pay attention to little details in nature how a tree or a leave hanging off a tree is so beautiful. i need someone i can conenct with. relate to. someone who wants to take care of me. and someone i can take care of everyday . i give alot into my relationships. i hate it when the other doesnt take me or the relation seriously. but i like to take my time. go out. date.. take my time… but apprently its all a dream ive never met anyone like that unfortunatly.

Somebody asked me today what would be my perfect mate. i had to think about it.

but here it goes.

i need a guy who is open minded. who is interested in life and learning about stuff in general. someone who has dreams and ambitions.  someone who has a stable life and job and would want to invest in our relationship. someone happy. someone who can be real with me and i can be real with.  i need someone who have good family values who likes to go out, party but also spend time with me and give each other space at the same time.  someone who likes learning. i love learning about everything.  someone who loves arts. any kind of arts.  art is everywhere. could be plastic arts, music, i love music. i need it to go through everything in my life good or bad. but arts can be in really simple things. i sometimes pay attention to little details in nature how a tree or a leave hanging off a tree is so beautiful. i need someone i can conenct with. relate to. someone who wants to take care of me. and someone i can take care of everyday . i give alot into my relationships. i hate it when the other doesnt take me or the relation seriously. but i like to take my time. go out. date.. take my time… but apprently its all a dream ive never met anyone like that unfortunatly.

16th July 2012

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Some days are awesome. some are bad. its just really hard when i go to bed alone. but the days goes by and it gets easier everyday. i feel like one day i will meet that someone where everything will change. like nothing else will matter. im scared to get attached. ive been too hurt in the past. but when the time is right and i meet that someone, none of that will matter. its hard to find someone you can really be yourself with. with me its what you see id what you get. but it takes me a little while to open up to certain person when im attracted to them. i dont like games. im real im me. and hopefully one day someone will love me for who i really am. someone i can share my good days, my bad ones my passions. music, arts, videogames. books. i dont know. theres to many of them. someone i can have a real conversation with. i am a happy person im always joyful and smiling and happy. people tell em in too nice but i dont think theres such things as being too nice. i love taking care of people. and i care alot. but thats my biggest problem. i need someone who also wants to take care of me. and stop caring too much about people who clearly dont care about me the same way or as much as i do. but right now im still recovering from my breakup. so im not ready yet. but when i will i hope im not wrong to think that a real relationship filled with love attention and passion can exist. 

Some days are awesome. some are bad. its just really hard when i go to bed alone. but the days goes by and it gets easier everyday. i feel like one day i will meet that someone where everything will change. like nothing else will matter. im scared to get attached. ive been too hurt in the past. but when the time is right and i meet that someone, none of that will matter. its hard to find someone you can really be yourself with. with me its what you see id what you get. but it takes me a little while to open up to certain person when im attracted to them. i dont like games. im real im me. and hopefully one day someone will love me for who i really am. someone i can share my good days, my bad ones my passions. music, arts, videogames. books. i dont know. theres to many of them. someone i can have a real conversation with. i am a happy person im always joyful and smiling and happy. people tell em in too nice but i dont think theres such things as being too nice. i love taking care of people. and i care alot. but thats my biggest problem. i need someone who also wants to take care of me. and stop caring too much about people who clearly dont care about me the same way or as much as i do. but right now im still recovering from my breakup. so im not ready yet. but when i will i hope im not wrong to think that a real relationship filled with love attention and passion can exist.